sometimes i forget that im a pretty good writer but like? damn some of my stuff is fuckin funny. i used to be That guy my main struggle is uhh story

asurrogateblog:

I think tumblr should have a self-plagiarism alert feature I want a pop-up that says “you already made this exact post with this exact phrasing two weeks ago. there is no hope for you”

  

corporationkills:

corporationkills:

i’m building a database.

  

i think I had my night blog tag running for a while but it just opened me straight into the world of my freshman year of college and i’m doing so much better now. i gotta remember to show up for past icarus bc in their eyes im crushing it

zartharn:

I think I’ve complained about cold sores before but those I think were actually canker sores because there’s a real deal cold sore forming on the outside of my mouth! aaaaaaaaaaa

or…not? which begs the question of what was that mysterious tingly lump that appeared on the corner of my mouth and is now gone?

  

damn i love tempeh soso much

I think I’ve complained about cold sores before but those I think were actually canker sores because there’s a real deal cold sore forming on the outside of my mouth! aaaaaaaaaaa

ah, thaw days, characterized by the sound of large whoomps of snow and ice leaping from my roof without ceremony

sacred-portal:

  

guavagyal:

bro just take my fucking job application without a cover letter. we’re literally gonna be in a mega economic collapse, you’re not gonna fucking read it anyways. do you really need some fucking fanfic about me working at your business?? what the fuck are we even doing right now??

  

zartharn:

guy who’s always surprised by lunchtime: you’re telling me i have to come up with something to eat for lunch?

guy who’s always surprised by dinnertime: you’re telling me i have to come up with something to eat for dinner?

  

guy who’s always surprised by lunchtime: you’re telling me i have to come up with something to eat for lunch?

i-am-a-fish:

just laid down in my bed and oh my god ooooohhh my god ouughgg it’s so comfy oooouuughgggg

  

there was a really banging song about the necronomicon too bad it was at the only ever production of moonlight on the miskatonic at smith college in 2018 and i will never get to hear it again

aloyhh:

i love being in bed like yeah everything is terrible but at least i’m in bed